Do you sometimes shake your head in amazement at some of the police reports, wondering why someone called police or what the criminal was thinking? I know I do.
Here are a few of the recent incidents in Sammamish, Issaquah, and neighboring Patch towns that fit the bill:
Highlights from Sammamish & Issaquah
Note to self, essentials first.
Did you hear about the one where the North Bend burglar led police on a freeway chase--until he ran out of gas? Didn't it occur to him and his accomplice to fill up while they were using a couple's stolen checks?
Dumb and dumberer.
An off-duty Redmond Police Officer called Sammamish police to a vehicle prowl in progress on Saturday, June 30. A man was standing next to a Jeep carrying a gym bag with the Redmond PD logo on it, and he had a large screwdriver in his pocket. Turns out, the Jeep was stolen, too. Oh, and they had stolen items from Ace Hardware. Oh, and yeah, one of them got sick because he swallowed a baggie of meth to hide it from the cops.
Hallucinations don't count as designated drivers.
A drunk driver who crashed his car tried to pull the old "imaginary friend" routine when Sammamish Police asked him who had been driving. Eventually, realizing the cops were smarter than the average intoxicated male, he confessed to being the driver.
Dude, where'd I park my car?
In an item that didn't make it into the blotter, a woman called police to report that her car had been stolen. She and her husband, both intoxicated, were arguing and had been contacted several times already that day by police. She wanted to leave but couldn't find her car; her husband insisted she was so drunk she just forgot where she left her car, but police took a report just in case.
Around the Puget Sound
If you head-butt a car is that assault or vandalism?
A 28-year-old Redmond man was arrested outside Palmers East after allegedly punching another man in the face. Police said the suspect also smashed the window of a taxi cab and head-butted the rear window of another vehicle, causing it to shatter. He faces charges of fourth-degree assault and two charges of third-degree malicious mischief.
She failed the parallel parking sobriety test.
Police arrested a 29-year-old Mercer Island woman for DUI after she was found running the engine in the driver's seat of a Nissan Altima while parked in the middle of the road on the 2400 block of 76th Ave. SE. The local woman failed field sobriety tests, provided a portable breathalyzer test of .159 and was arrested.
Ironically, the folks at Goodwill probably would have just helped them out.
Police responded to Goodwill in Bonney Lake on Nov. 30 for a report that a semi-truck trailer had its lock cut for the last two nights in a row. Between 9 p.m. and 7:30 a.m. on both nights, both a combination padlock and a cable-style lock had been cut off the same door. In both instances the trailer was empty and nothing was taken.
Oh, was not coming to court drunk a term of my probation?
A Shoreline man got in hot water after he met his probation officer drunk at Shoreline District Court 1.
We'll run this feature occasionally--send us your nominations from local police reports for inclusion, too, at email@example.com.